Wolf song cards – Arctic wolf – the arctic wolf signifies resistance to change. The cold, frozen, bleak tundra is the least changing of all environments. Resistance may come from many directions, including oneself, and again, does not have to be negative. The resistance may be the result of some very valid questions.

Animal messages – Llama – let courage lead you to seek support and overcome a fear of intimacy
“sweet-tempered, soft, and friendly, Llama’s gentle and beautiful, wide-eyed face belies her ability to withstand unforgiving conditions. Llama counsels that defensiveness keeps others far away while drawing near loneliness and disrespect. Let go of angst and foreboding, perhaps by consulting another who may untangle the psychology of your mind. As no path is impassable to Llama, with courage you may take a hard but rewarding road to rediscover the sweetness in your soul and be as one with others.”

Wolf song – Red wolf – the red wolf is the bearer of unexpected change. Although the red wolf’s pose is somewhat aggressive, unexpected change is not necessarily aggressive. It could simply be change that was overlooked or not anticipated. Often unexpected or unplanned change requires further thought or analysis.

Animal messages – Lion – banish loneliness by reaching out to special friends
“Tawny monarch of the savannah, Lion does not waste her days in needless physical exertion, but conserves energy by sleeping, resting, and companionably lounging. Working long, exhausting hours for the money leaves little time for the pleasures of friendship. Loneliness is spirit-diminishing – designer clothes make poor companions. Lion has padded into your cards to remind you how vital friends and neighbors really are. Reach out to those around you and be open to others.

Frog – adapt and survive by accepting the inevitable and seizing potential.
“Mistress of diversity, Frog conforms seamlessly and ingeniously to her environment. If she has leapt into your cards, your strategy must also be to adapt and survive. Sometimes life moves inexorably on and nothing we can do will change events or alter fate. Frog counsels that for now it is wise to accept the inevitable while maximizing even the tiniest of possible advantages. That way you grow strong in the face of adversity and may influence events when opportunity arises.”

I’ve always been very adaptable. That’s been especially helpful the past 3 years, with the lupus diagnosis… It felt like it was one thing after another, and all I could do was get over it and get on with life. I couldn’t pretend I didn’t have lupus… I had to be treated, or I would have died. When I was told that my best option was IV chemotherapy, even though I was terrified of needles, I kept my mouth shut and did it. When I was told I needed a kidney biopsy, even though I was terrified of hospitals, I did it. I had nightmares for months after my kidney biopsy….

I’m at work again tonight… And again, don’t want to be here. I found out that one of the women I *hate* is a lead preparer… She openly and loudly criticized me for wearing a wig while going through chemotherapy (in front of customers…) and said that my lupus must not be that severe if I was still able to work. That was really never any of her business, but whatever. I quit 2 seasons ago because of her, and I won’t be coming back next season because of her. She’s a perfect example of the kind of person that wants to be an authority figure, but should never be given the chance to be. She is one of the most unprofessional people I’ve ever had the displeasure of working with. People explain it away as it being an East Coast thing… I’ve met tons of people from the East Coast, and I have family that lives in New York, and they’re not that poorly mannered. She just doesn’t understand that there are some things you don’t have the right to say to people…

Red Squirrel – Gather your resources now, for they will sustain you through coming change.
“Benevolent Red Squirrel has scurried into your cards so that you may prepare for the future, for change is in the air. She counsels that you gather skills that are universal, transferable, and fundamental – the simple tools of life, such as cooking or the growing of vegetables, too often cast aside in a metropolitan world – and preserve some of today’s material bounty for the morrow. Unencumbered and adaptable you may then, like Squirrel, swim with the tides of the future and enjoy what is here today.”

I took up gardening about a month ago, and I’m seeing all of my baby plants growing, which is exciting…. I’ve never grown anything before! I also started looking at recipes for new things to cook, to be a better housewife. This card is totally me right now.

So I got to go shopping today, I picked up most of Susie’s present for this weekend, and I got new makeup and shampoo and conditioner… I LOVE Aveda. I also got cupcakes from Sugar Queen Cupcakes in Willowbend Mall… Love it!

I’m incredibly bored at work now, I think I’m going to close an hour early if we don’t have any business…

I bought a really pretty wrap skirt from Earthbound Trading Co… I’ve gotten a ton of compliments on it today. I think I need to figure out how to make these…

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･☆･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

So looking around a bookstore, I stumbled across the animal messages cards that we draw in coven… I love them! I’m going to start drawing a card every day to work with.

Today, my card was Raven. Raven’s message is “listen to your intuition to receive a message from the world of spirit.”

“Black, glossy magician of the feathered world, intelligent denizen of windswept hills, lonely crags, and dark forest, Raven swoops on wings of four-foot span. He calls to the wolves to tell them that a feast awaits, a deer, a bear; and he calls to you so that you may discover the enchanter within, and give form to the formless. Listen carefully to his cry, for Raven brings you a message from the realm of the spirit.”

I think I needed this one today. I’ve been dealing with everything creatively… Sewing, knitting, crocheting, painting, drawling… Those have been my outlets. I’ve been feeling the call to be creative, to “let it all out,” and I feel like I can’t get enough of that. The whole time I was working at Verizon, I wasn’t really allowed to be creative. Thinking outside of the marketing box wasn’t appreciated or welcomed. I had to conform to their standards, even when their standards were severely lacking… But now, all that energy and creativity that I kept bottled up is just rushing out. It’s such a relief to be able to do this now.

I’ve been considering doing a couple of photoshoots soon. I have one I know I need to make the costume for, which shouldn’t be difficult… I just haven’t wanted to make it. Guess I’ll be doing that soon I can start making the costume for the other shoot I want to do, and possibly make a new corset for a shoot… Who knows!

Sleep time now, I’m exhausted!

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･☆･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

So she hasn’t let up… if anything, she’s gotten worse. Chick is seriously psycho.

I love how she calls me a liar, but I can prove everything I say. If you ask her for proof, she responds with “whatever jealous bitch.” Classy. Really classy.

Her new low is saying that I’m lying about having lupus and copying her. She’s also claiming that I made the xtube about her, and had it for 3+ years, all to save it to frame her… mmhuh. Supposedly she wasn’t even on aol 3 years ago, she’s only been here a year… so how could I have known about her 3 years ago to make the profile? Yeah… logic escapes her.

Here’s a tip chick, if you’re going to lie… at least do it consistently. First the xtube wasn’t yours, it was your sisters. Then you owned up to it, but claimed that we were all stalking you, and that’s how we found it (forget that anyone can google you and find tons of shit…). And now… you claim I made it, preemptively, before I even knew you. Yeah. Perfectly logical.

*edit* here’s here “it’s my sister defense again

brunetttebomb: Its great that you’re so jealous of Rachel that you have to post shit about her shows how obsessed and crazy you are.You even look like a looney
brunetttebomb: LOLOL
prescriptiondoll: that was posted by rachel
LIVELAUGHL0VE211: i know right karla
prescriptiondoll: she forgot to change her ip
LIVELAUGHL0VE211: yep
brunetttebomb: I feel bad for Rachel she is a great person. You are the nutcase making a website and talking your shit. Sweet Life you got keep on lying psycho
LIVELAUGHL0VE211: that was actually my sister u dumbass
brunetttebomb: haha
prescriptiondoll: oh… really now?
LIVELAUGHL0VE211: um yea
LIVELAUGHL0VE211: crazy bitch
prescriptiondoll: your sister just happens to type exactly like you?

She ignored the last question, as usual

o.O Chick is psycho. Really. This is the only person on the face of this planet that can manage to contract rare illnesses from chat rooms. You can’t say anything to her, because she will tell you that you’re ugly and say you’re jealous of her. Really?? Are we still in jr high?

What gets me is that she makes up having illnesses that some of us actually suffer from, simply for attention. I didn’t go through 18 months of IV chemotherapy just so she can claim that she has lupus on a porn profile. Now she’s claiming she has endometriosis just a few days after me and another girl were talking about how bad it sucks!

She’s lied about having sex with guys, she’s lied about going on dates with hockey players… she even told an entire chat room that she had sex with a whole hockey team. Who lies about that?? That’s disgusting!

She’s supposedly getting her masters from a community college. When, exactly, did community colleges start offering masters degrees to people that haven’t even gotten an associates?

She even goes as far as lying about jobs. She claimed she was a receptionist for a doctor’s office, but was always online and in the chat room chatting during the work day…

She’s seriously got issues!

*edit* she was even nice enough to post a response! And not only is it horribly misspelled, you can see for yourself just how uneducated she is

YOURWORSENIGHTMARE (Rachel Kemp) says:
March 16, 2011 at 9:40 pm (Edit)

Bitch you are the one thats psycho and you lie about everything.You are skitzo,bipolar,crazy,psychotic…I think you are the psycho one not me you fucking ugly big nosed bitch you need help,you are mentally ill and you always lie about everything your whole life is joke. SEEK HELP U UGLY WHORE.YOU ARE JEALOUS BECAUSE I HAVE A REAL JOB AND YOU DONT.
GET HELP YOU NEED IT.

sicko nicoll (Rachel Kemp)
youbitch@aol.com
Submitted on 2011/03/17 at 12:35 pm

Its great that you’re so jealous of Rachel that you have to post shit about her shows how obsessed and crazy you are.You even look like a looney.I feel bad for Rachel she is a great person. You are the nutcase making a website and talking your shit. Sweet Life you got keep on lying psycho.

It’s cute… she posts pretending to be other people, but the IP address confirms that it’s her… not very smart Rachel

So I feel like I’m going crazy without a job. I know most people probably say this… but I’ve had constant employment since I was 15. I’ll be 28 later this year. Even when I was sick and in the hospital being diagnosed with lupus, I had my laptop and I was logging in remotely. I was still managing to put in at least 30 hours from the hospital.

SSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to keep myself from going nuts, I went to half-priced books last night (love that store!), and blew $100. I now have new tarot cards (because really.. I needed another set to add to the 16 I already have), “serenity runes” so I don’t kill J (he actually handed those to me), and a buuuuuuuuunch of books. Oh, and little kid activity kits… because seriously, $5 for a kid that teaches me needlepoint AND I get to make my own diary??? Awesome.

I’ve realized that I’ve been really short with everyone the last week. I don’t feel well (still having residual effects from the stress reaction) and I’m still stressed, plus bored… So my doctor gave me seroquel. I love that little pill

She also said that it’s probably not the best idea to beat my husband with a pillow when he makes me mad… although in the scheme of things, it’s probably better than throwing things at him… so we’re working on that. Until that’s resolved, the pillow beatings will continue! (it sounds more serious than it is… he likes to try to make me feel better, and sometimes i just want to be left alone! so after him antagonizing me for 20 minutes to get me to smile, i’ll finally just snap and chase him around the house beating him with a pillow. after i’m done, then i smile, and then go back to being mad. )

oh… and being the bored person that i am…. i got new piercings in my ears. $10 at walmart! and the girl was actually all tattoo’d and pierced, so i was more comfortable going to her than the little old lady that i normally see there.

HeddR0xx1: nicoll if you dropped 50lbs we can talk

XREPPIN508X13: nicoll  you look like a fat broads azz

XREPPIN508X13: h0 looks like she fell out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

XREPPIN508X13: nicoll your just too ugly and too dumb to outwit me

So I had my nephrologist appointment yesterday – all labs look fantastic, and he’s decreasing my dose of cellcept to 500mg a day… that’s down from the 3 grams a day that I was taking back in November! SOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m not happy about weighing 118 lbs. That means I gained like 6 lbs in 2 weeks. He said that could be normal, and that it’s probably water weight, because I should be on my period right now… but since I stop my period with my birth control, I’m still getting the symptoms, just not actually bleeding. Bah… oh well. I still fit all my clothes.